You may have been furloughed and been spending increasing amounts of time at home, or have had to work from home or even unfortunately been made unemployed. For some of us, this has affected our relationships and even our marriage. Let's have a look at this further and what you can do to save your marriage.
Divorce statistics
The latest divorce statistics in the UK show that over 90,000 couples got divorced in 2018, which is a drop from the year previously. However, I wonder what the statistics will be like for 2020 when they are released in a couple of years? It's certainly been a stressful year so far.
Can you save your marriage?
Sometimes a divorce can seem like the only option but if you don't want to find a UK lawyer to help you get divorced then there are some things you can do.
What you can do to help your marriage
1. Talk
Marriage needs to be built on communication. So the first thing is to sit down and talk. Talk about your marriage, talk about why you want to get divorced and talk about if you can save the relationship. You may need a mediator or a marriage counsellor to help you work through this process. It's worth considering help, especially if there are children involved. If you cannot talk about the issues then it may not be worth saving.
2. Write down why you got married in the first place
It's worth revisiting why you got married in the first place, so write it down. Write down what attracted you to them, why you wanted to commit, what happened since and where you want to go with the relationship. Question do you really want to get divorced? Getting divorced is a big upheaval, both emotionally and potentially financially.
3. Accept the past
It can be hard to forgive but you do need to accept what has happened and move on to make a new start with a marriage. Whether that is infidelity, a secret you found out or something else. This can be very hard to do and may take a long time but you have to learn to accept the past for you will need move on.
4. Put the time in on your marriage
You need to work on a marriage and put it first especially in times of trouble. Set aside some time to do things together where you have fun. Try a date night every week if you can. Get dressed up and take your partner out, or even make the effort to have a date night in with special occasion food and dress up if you can't go out. Spend time when you are on your own without the kids on a regular basis and talk. It doesn't have to be talking about serious things but talk like you first got together.
5. Look after yourself
You also need to put the time in to look after yourself too. Don't count on your partner to fulfil your every need. Spend time on what makes you happy such as hobbies and interests. It's good to find your own group of friends. Try to do something every day to make you laugh. When you are happy with yourself you can be happy in a relationship.
6. Sometimes things cannot be resolved
Sometimes things cannot be resolved and that's ok. Instead, you need to agree to disagree rather than arguing all the time. I know it's hard but it may need to be done to save your marriage. It saves stress and it saves emotions. Why not think of a silly word to say to stop you getting into an argument? It can stop the negative thought process and may even make you laugh.
A broken marriage cannot be easily solved but it can be done, I hope this article has given you something to think about.
* Collaborative post
It's been such a difficult time, I can imagine it has strained a few marriages but hopefully that the slowing down had hopefully helped a few out too.
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