Whether you are toasting your new bride, recounting your days with the daughter you have just seen married or doing your best to amuse the audience with previous tales of the groom’s adventures as a young man - a wedding speech matters.
More than any other speech, it becomes an integral part of everybody else’s memories of the day and an epic wedding speech will be part of the great rhythm of sights and sounds they recall when they look back on the event in the weeks, months and years to come.
Gathering material for the speech can begin early, especially if you are party to the groom’s attempts at securing the perfect venue for the wedding. Chateau rental in France can be a mouthful in English, let alone Francais, and it would be amusing to get his recollections of when his French was suitably inadequate. Or what about that time when he went to Germany and ended up in a certain bar... well maybe not!
Even if public speaking is your idea of torture, the words are the most important part. There is a place in life for standard formula speeches but a wedding is not one of them. Even if the speech is halting, unfocused and too long it doesn’t matter as long as the words are personal, meaningful and heartfelt.
Your words are your own
The language should be your own as listeners will be able to tell instantly if you have taken words from elsewhere. You have been asked to speak because you are you; the least you can do is speak as you on the day. You will be happier and more confident using your own words.
The ambience and acoustics of a room also matter tremendously when speaking at a wedding. Mind your surroundings. If the wedding is outdoors or in a fine reception hall, your voice may not carry as far as usual so you might need to use a microphone or other AV equipment. Ask the venue if they provide them.
This is 2018 so don’t be afraid to use technology to help enhance your speech. If you need cue cards or slides then use your Smartphone or device so you avoid the risk of dropping them at an inappropriate time. If you are incorporating slides and video in your speech then your device can also be used as a discrete controller. Again, check with the venue for their policy in advance.
Taste is universal
Be aware of the audience and their tastes. The speech is for the occasion and for everyone, not your own or your friends' indulgence. Tales of the stag holiday might be hilarious to you and the groom but the bride’s parents? Discretion is the better part of valour and the speech can also be used to build and burgeon a reputation of integrity and discretion. Check with the principals if you unsure about any element. They might be perfectly happy to have you share their pet nicknames for each other in front of their nearest and dearest but they may not so ask.
God loves a trier it’s true but an overlooked part of trying is practice. Don’t wing one of the most important speeches of many people’s lives. The more you run through the words, the more familiar you become with the structure and cadence, the more you can improvise on the day if you need to.
An epic wedding speech is not plucked from thin air and spun from invisible thread. It is the result of effort, thought, inspiration and love. If your speech has these ingredients then it will be sure to be a success on any terms.
*Collaborative post
I think I'd be so nervous doing a wedding speech as I would worry that I'm not engaging enough x
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with making sure the speech is family friendly, especially with the parents being there!
ReplyDeleteFamily friendly is a must, I always think that if I wouldn't my own children or family members to hear that antedote etc then don't say it
ReplyDeleteI would be so nervous doing a speech never mind at a wedding. My brother is getting married next year and I know that’s the main thing he’s nervous about
ReplyDeleteGreat tips. I still haven't mastered giving speeches, I'd rather write blogs. Ha ha
ReplyDeleteSuch good speech advice (and totally relevant to me this weekend as we're at two weddings!). Will be listening out tomorrow to see if the speeches have ticked all these helpful boxes.
ReplyDeleteI think preparing for this would help a lot, and definitely practise before hand. It's a lot of pressure but I think all the wedding guests want it to go well
ReplyDelete